The Influence of Communication on Marital Stability Among Couples
Chapter One
PURPOSE OF THE STUDY
This study is designed to investigate the influence of communication on marital stability among couples in the Lagos Metropolis. It also examines the following:
- To find out causes of marital instability
- To find out to what extent communication affects marital stability
- To find out to what extent marital duration affects marital stability
- To investigate contemporary issues on marital stability.
CHAPTER TWO
REVIEW OF RELATED LITERATURE
Concept of Communication
Communication has been defined by many people in different ways. For instance, Hurlock (1978), defined communication as an interchange of thoughts and feelings, and this interchange can be carried out with any form of language. This language could be body gesture, emotional expressions, speech or written language, but is commonly and effectively done by speech. Another definition given by Kelly-Plate and Eubanks (1994), was that communication is the exchange of information, opinions and feelings. They further explained that exchanging means sending and receiving messages. These messages are sent to others through what is said and how it is said, and the message is received when one listens carefully. Others like Canary and Emmers-Sommer in http:// www .equality inmarraige.org, defined communication as the way one lets other people know about their ideas and feelings. It was further explained that, it is much more than the words said, why it was said, when to say it, and what is not said. It is facial expression, gesture, posture and vocal tones. Family members use body language as well as verbal language to communicate with one another.
Communication is two way process. There is always a second person (listener). This is because there is always a feedback or reply in communication. On this note, Pelt (2002), stated that the two way street of conversation comprises the giving and receiving of information. It involves more than talking. It is the receiving or listening process as well, and to add to this two fold process, a third dimension which is understanding is added. Family members need to understand what they say to each other, and not only to listen. Another view given by Oyedepo (2003), was as a communion. This means sharing of thoughts and feelings, as communication here is regarded as speaking together as close friends, hence, the closeness of family members cannot be overemphasized. Here, two levels of communication are highlighted which could improve family relationship. These are the horizontal and vertical levels of communication. Horizontal level of communication involves communication between family members, while vertical level is communication between God and man. Effective communication with God makes communication with man. Family members should therefore communicate effectively with God so as to make communication between family members possible. In marriage, Okwuene (2003), stated that communication involves talking to or with someone and listening to someone. It was further explained that family members need to talk to themselves, share their thoughts and ideas through communication. Similarly, Olaitan and Akpan (2003), stated that through mutual communication and interaction, family members declare their values and this helps to strengthen their marital relationship. Furthermore, Carr (2005), contributed by saying that the kind of relationship one has with the Lord will naturally translate into his or her relationship with others. In addition to this, one’s communication with God is where real communication with a mate begins. Communication was viewed by Omeonu (2007) as the way people send and receive, share and create information, which involves both content and process. While content is what is communicated, process is the means by which the feelings, attitudes, facts beliefs and ideas are transmitted to family members through commonly accepted symbols or words. Where couples refuse or fail to communicate effectively, conflicts are more difficult to resolve, and where couple or family members communicate effectively, handling marital problems becomes easy and couples are likely to enjoy their marriages.
CHAPTER THREE
RESEARCH DESIGN AND METHODOLOGY
Research Design
This research was carried out using descriptive survey method. This method was adopted as it was best suited for collecting information from a large and small population that are located at different places of the area of study as was recommended by (Osuala, 2001).
Population for the Study
The target population comprised of all couples in Lagos metropolis. It consists a total population of over four million, according to the 2006 census.
Sample size and Sampling Procedure
Lagos State holds the highest population of people living in nigeria, and by extension of that fact the highest population of couples in Nigeria, it was therefore inherent to sample out an area in Lagos for this research, Lagos metroplolis was the focus of the research and Lekki, Ikeja and V.I. was sampled for this study.
CHAPTER FOUR
DATA ANALYSIS, PRESENTATION AND DISCUSSION OF RESULTS
Analysis of bio-data
Table 4.1.1: Distribution of Respondents by Sex
CHAPTER FIVE
SUMMARY, CONCLUSION AND RECOMMENDATIONS
Summary
In this research titled “influences of communication strategies on marital stability” in Lagos State sampled 370 married respondents. The study was presented in five chapters. Chapter one presented the introduction, background of the study including statement of the problem as well as objectives of the study. The major objective was to examine the influences of communication strategies on marital stability in Lagos State. The specific objectives were to determine communication strategies used in the husband/wife subsystem of the families, identify communication strategies used in the parent/children subsystem of the families and determine communication strategies used in the children/children subsystem of the families. The research questions, null hypotheses, significance of the study, assumptions of the study as well as scope of the study were also stated here. The three null hypotheses were tested at 0.05 (.000) level of significance, and the Pearson Product Moment Correlation (PPMC) was used.
Findings drawn from responses to research questions revealed that the most common communication strategies used in Lagos State are: talking down on each other by spouses because of the familiarity they have for one another, frowning at each other when they are communicating inability of spouses to use polite words. The findings also revealed that the parents are not used to hugging their children when they are communicating, and the parents do not spend quality time to discuss with their children. It was further revealed that the older children tease the younger ones, and the children are fund of fighting each other. The findings finally revealed that there exists a significant correlation between communication strategies used in the family and family relationships.
Conclusion
Considering the findings in this study, it can be concluded that couples in Lagos State face some challenges in their relationships. These challenges are further compounded by the use of ineffective communication strategies used by couples. This can explain the reason for rapid increase in breaking of marriages and high rates in divorce, indulging in indiscipline activities by children because of failure of parents to spend quality time with their children educating them on the dangers of such negative activities. It can be concluded that strong intimate family relationship depends on family members employing positive communication strategies such as the children learning to share, and give and take at an early stage of life. This they can do with the help of the parents communicating by educating the children, and the husband and wife on their part should care for one another by respecting and paying special attention to each other.
Recommendations
The following recommendations are made based on the findings of the study.
- Husbands and wives should use polite and appreciative words in their conversation.
- Husband and wife should give special treats to each other like giving gifts on special occasions and going for special
- Setting up of marital counselling clinics in all nooks and crannies of Nigeria.
- Also, courses in marriage communication and sex should be made compulsory for counsellors in
- Couples should communicate effectively and try as much as possible to know the likes and dislikes of each
- Finally, the researchers recommend the provision of marital counselling to couples before and after marriage. Marriage seminars and symposia should be constantly
Implications for conducive home environment
The findings of this study revealed that there was an apparent awareness that lack of effective communication is a road that leads to marital instability and problems in marriage. It was also discovered that most of all the problems in marriage are due to lack of communication between couples. As couples go into marriage and even during marriage, there is need to understand each other very well, understanding each other means knowing the verbal and non verbal cues of each other as well as creating time for each other so as to know each other well.
This implies that counsellors in their various capacities should assume more active role in encouraging marital communication. They should try to provide guidance that can facilitate cordial relationship especially in the area of communication. They should enlighten couples on the consequences of not communicating effectively which could lead to divorce. With its attendant negative multiplier effect on the society.
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